There is nothing more frightening to a grocery store manager than the sound of a shopper falling down. When the manager heard the spattering chaos, followed shortly by calls for help, he raced to the spot. Shoppers heard, “Clean up on aisle five,” over the intercom, but to the manager it sounded like, “Impending lawsuit. Impending doom.”

The scene was something the manager had never seen before. There was thick, black sludge congealed in the middle of the aisle. It enveloped the fallen woman as she struggled to get up.

A dramatic proposal deserves a dramatic solution. Thank you, Gam-Gam…

Warnings: being in front of a crowd, vomit, poison, a chubby child who talks too loud, and an absurdly arrogant man

Definitely not the first girlfriend experience he was hoping for…

Warnings: strong language, butt-clenching embarrassment

The cruise was supposed to be a new start for this newlywed couple. And I guess in some ways, it was.

Warnings: strong language, sexual content, misogynist ass hat